Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...



Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Home Is A Four-Letter Word

I'm ready for the kids to go back to school.  I want my kids to go back to school.  I NEED my kids to go back to school.

It's not that I don't love them.  It's just that I don't entirely like them very much...at least not right now.

Every morning for the past four weeks since we've been home from our trip to New York, my kids have come into my room, jumped on my sleeping head, shaken my snoozing body and said "Mommy?  Mommy?  Mommy???  What are we doing today?!"

Usually they were happy with my answer.  Sometimes I'd say "You all have playdates."  Or, "We're going swimming."  Or, "Ben has a playdate and the girls are going to come school shopping at the mall with me."  Over the course of the summer we went to the beach, we picked fruit, we visited friends, we saw family, we hit museums and parks and ice cream shops and even the car wash.  All of these things were greeted with varying degrees of enthusiasm depending on how much each child assumed they'd get out of the activity.

But there was one reply I threw out there occasionally that consistently elicited an equally horrified response from all three children.  "We're not going anywhere.  We're staying home."

"HOOOOOOOOOMMMMMEEEE!??  But MOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!!!  We don't want to stay HOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEE!  Home is BOOOOOOORRRRRING!!

For the record, home is definitely NOT boring.  How do I know this?  I am the one who shelled out the money for all of their toys, video games and American Girl Doll crap precisely so they would not be bored.  I responded to pleas of "Can I have it?" and "I'll play with it all the time!" by purchasing these items my children swore would entertain them at home.  I set aside an entire room and filled it with these toys, and hundreds of other brain-building activities, art projects and items that were guaranteed by toymakers to be "hours of fun"!

But what do I hear?  "MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM...we wanna GO somewhere!"

It's remarkable to me that they don't realize that all we do is "go somewhere".  We spend all year running around to gymnastics practices, karate lessons and art classes.  There are endless errands to run, trips to the market, and doctor's appointments.  We are never home.

And I love to be home.  Isn't that why I pay rent?  What's wrong with being home?  We have toys, art supplies, clean bathrooms?  That's more than I can say for the beach.  We have sprinklers, Direct TV and an endless supply of chips.  That sounds good to me.

But it doesn't to my kids.

So today, on our last day before returning to school, I am going to indulge their request to "go somewhere" for one last time this summer.  We'll probably hit the mall and go for frozen yogurt and do numerous other things where chips and clean bathrooms are not readily available.

I'll spend one more day listening to them whine, complain and fight with each other.  We'll avoid "home" like the plague because it's their last day of summer and that's what they want to do.

But tomorrow, after I wave goodbye to them from the other side of the school fence and they march off to their first day of classes, I'll head back to my empty home and enjoy my silent heaven.  I'll eat chips and use my clean bathroom and enjoy the home I've worked so hard to create.

At least until I have to go to the market.

9 comments:

  1. It is bittersweet, isn't it? I miss mine when they are at school but I love the calm and the organization!
    Saw your comment on MBC and wanted to come say hi.

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  2. My son is only 15 months and I am dreading the moment he has to leave the nest! But then again...

    PS I found you on mombloggerclub!

    -Melissa www.savingmomsmoney.com

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  3. I really enjoyed your blog entry. (It was one-of-those-days and I enjoyed the laugh...) I saw your link on mom bloggers club.

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  4. Hi Sarah,
    I just saw your comment on my blog, thank you! The book is out and it's in a bookstore, so that's good. More stores to follow. I think I told you I emailed your blog to my girlfriends who thought it was fabulous!

    My kids went back to school today! I'm free for coffee-just tell me where and when :) I do have jury duty soon, but I'll do anything to get out of it csimon2007@gmail.com

    Christina

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  5. Thanks for the follow. I'm now following your lovely blog.

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  6. I like to give my kids a big box and a crayon. I tell them that's all I had as a kid. Now go play!

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  7. Yeah for school!!
    :)

    Visiting from MBC and following.

    http://mommyhastowork.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Girrrrl, I am so with you on deflecting through humor! Here is a virtual martini toast to that! Love the title of this post and how you tied it all together! So true, so true! Found ya through MBC! Will enjoy following you.
    Lauren
    www.ajourneytotheson.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  9. first, before I comment, I have to say this...blogging comments crack me up. I love it when I click to comment and "see someone" who "I know" from my blog, and I have that moment of "Oh Hi! I didn't know you two knew each other!!"
    Does this make sense?
    Anyhoo...

    back to your post...
    come HERE. It will be like going somewhere and my bathrooms are filthy.

    ReplyDelete

I love, love, LOVE hearing from you, so DON'T BE SHY! And PLEASE feel free to send me an e-mail if you would like me to reply to your comment! I can't write you back if I don't know how to find you!

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