Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...

Saturday, September 12, 2009

It's Not A Party Till The Small Boy Barfs...

My son barfs.  A lot.

He always has.  At 10 months he was already at the Occupational Therapist to be evaluated for a bad gag reflex.

He chokes on everything.  He chokes on chicken, he chokes on blueberries...Hell, he's choked on milk!  And as he's gotten older, it hasn't gotten better.  I'll say to him "Chew, Ben, chew!" and he'll smile at me with a mouth packed with buttered wheel pasta.  And he'll giggle.  Then he'll choke, and out it comes.

He throws up everywhere.  He's thrown up at the market ("Clean Up on aisle 5" was heard shortly thereafter),  he's thrown up at school, he's thrown up at Sea World he's thrown up at Nate N' Als's in Beverly Hills.  But mostly, he throws up at birthday parties sending nervous mothers clasping their babies and running for the hills.

"Is he sick?" They ask trying to sound like they're not calculating how long their child was exposed to mine.

"No.  He just chokes.  A lot."

"Oh." They say and smile nonchalantly.  But it doesn't go unnoticed that the parent and child keep a "healthy" distance from us for the rest of the party.

He can't help himself.  He gets so excited.  There are treats galore; goldfish, pretzels, chicken nuggets, grapes and birthday cake.  He can't get it all in fast enough.  And then there's the running around.  Nothing says "puke" like a belly full of cake and a bouncer.  Especially for someone who'll barf going over a speed bump.

So we keep working on the chewing and the not over-stuffing his mouth, and the learning to sit still for at least a few minutes after we eat.

But right now, we're off to another birthday party.  He's excited.  He'll swim, he'll slide, he'll eat cake and he'll stuff handfuls of goldfish into his mouth. 

And that's when the party really begins...


  1. Hilarious! You know, maybe not for you right now, but eventually...! Wait 'til he gets to college...what a party trick?!

  2. When he gets to college and goes to his first fraternity parties, that skill is really gonna pay off.

  3. OMG! lol I have a son just like that!

    We've been to speech, feeding therapy, the doctor....

    He does have sensory issues and we've been using an electric toothbrush inside his cheeks and I think it's helping some.

    Lisa @
    All That and a Box of Rocks

  4. I don't think my other comment took, so here goes... I often wondered what was more gross about childhood. 1)the boogies, 2)the puke, or 3)late toilet trainers (long story on this last one...) I always thought #1 was the winner until I read your post. You have convinced me it's indeed #2. Good luck at the party and remember, this too shall pass(figuratively speaking).

  5. Hi, saw you on mombloggersclub. My younger daughter has Asperger's too...

    Anyway, she used to throw up all the time in the car. We could never go anywhere without her making a huge stinky mess. Soooo glad she's outgrown that particular trait.

    Nice to meet you!

  6. This was hilarious! Thanks for a good giggle.

  7. Thanks for the story, it made me laugh! I needed it!

  8. I actually laughed out loud at the part about the speed bumps. (Which was bad timing, since my son was nursing at the time and *almost* asleep. Guess I'll be more careful when I read your blog in the future!)


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