Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Don't call me, I'll call you...when the kids are in college...

If you call my house, chances are you won't get to talk to me.  At least not for very long.

Today I was sitting in my room filing papers.  I had been up for hours, gone to the market, and made fresh french toast for the kids who are home for Veterans Day.

Then the phone rang.

The second I picked up, the call was interrupted by my son who asked for a cream cheese sandwich despite the fact he had JUST eaten breakfast.

Annoyed, I got off the phone, made him a sandwich and went back to work.

The phone rang again.

I answered it and managed to get "hello" out when my son interrupts again.  He needs pants.  Right away.  Pajamas just won't do.  Even though he's been wearing them for hours.  I end my call and find my kid pants.

"Ben, do you need anything else?"


"Are you sure?  Because every time I pick up the phone it seems like you have a problem.  I'd like to be able to talk on the phone.  Can you let me talk on the phone if someone calls?"




"Okay.  You have a sandwich, you have water, you have got everything?"



I went back to filing.  The phone rang.


"Hey, it's me."  My sister.

Sure enough..."Moooooooooooooooommmmm!"

Are you f*cking kidding me????  "WHAT, BENNNNN????!!!!!  WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?!

He came in holding a phone receiver.  "You have a phone call."

Obviously...that's the problem.


  1. Just stopping in to say hi from the Erma Bombeck humor writers' newsletter. It's good to meet a fellow blogger :) It sounds like you have a pretty entertaining home life! Hope you're fully recovered from the flu.

  2. I love your blog and am giving you an award! Head on over to my page to check it out.

  3. You make me laugh out loud everyday. Thanks for the entertainment!

  4. I think you just described my house. And my relatives wonder why I never answer the phone.

    Love your post and your blog. Just gave you an award on mine.

  5. I'm convinced there is a kid locator in every phone. Even when mine doesn't ring and I go hide in some corner of the house to make a call...they find me!


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