Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Drawing Straws

I think my kids draw straws every day to figure out who gets to drive me crazy.

It's really the only way to explain the inconsistencies in their behavior.

One day, Ben's a dream.  Maybe he's great for a solid week.  Then suddenly, he's all "up in my face" about Spaghettios.  Then there's Livi, who could wake up each day like someone poked her with a sharp stick and then one day - WHAM!  She's a sweet little angel.  Meanwhile, Izzy lays low, waiting for the twins to settle down and then takes her spot center stage at the "Irritation Festival".

They must do it in secret.  Maybe in the closet in Izzy's room where there's room for 3.

Before we go out to dinner, Izzy takes some straws out of the plasticware drawer, cuts one down and gathers the twins around.  The short straw gets to piss mom off by complaining the menu doesn't have anything they like.

Then they have another meeting the next day and draw again.  The short straw gets to drag their feet that morning and make us late for school.

The next day?...The short straw gets to kick their siblings for no apparent reason, whine about everything, or just leave their backpack containing all of their homework somewhere FAR across town.

The unpredictability is driving me out of my mind!

I wish they would just each chose a personality and stick to it.

I have an idea.  I'll just pick a different personality each day too and see how they like it. 

Or...I could just stop buying straws.


  1. Just wait until they're teenagers and the hormones kick in!

  2. You've got it all wrong. The one who draws the short straw is the one who has to be GOOD. Duh.


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