Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...



Tuesday, June 1, 2010

I'll be detailing my car...

My car's a mess.  Seriously, if you thought the playroom was bad, you ain't seen nothin' yet.

My SUV hasn't been washed in 6 months (that's like 12 years in Los Angeles time...)

And then this weekend we went on a road trip.

The trip started out with a big bag of snacks.  Things that crumble, melt and will occupy the kids long enough to guarantee at least 15 minutes of intervaled silence on the 3 hour trip to Palm Springs. 

Then my son needed to pee.  And we were stuck in SEVERE in traffic.  And the next exit was miles away.  And we were in the middle lane...you get the picture?  For the first time we attempted the "Pee in a bottle" trick.  It was moderately successful but I was happy I packed wipes.  I can only imagine what the scene looked like to the car next to us.  Small boy on his knees, mother turned around in her seat - hand up in a defensive mode as I defended myself from any residual spray.  (On a separate note, let me just add the momentary sense of pride that swept over me upon discovering that my 7 year old son does not really fit in an Arrowhead bottle...is that wrong?)

Then I accidentally left the cheese and crackers I had packed for me and Scott to ripen in the Palm Springs sun for 3 days - marinating my car with the essence of old goat cheese and pesto.

Promptly upon the beginning of our return trip?  My son barfed.  In the back seat.  He had a bag with him (I was ready, cuz as you may recall, my son barfs...a lot). 

So I'm on my way to the car wash.  I have no idea how long it will take to clean this thing, nor am I sure if my friends will ever want me to be the designated driver again once they read this.  But I'm feeling confident I can get my car back to a neutral state.

I wonder if there is an extra charge pee stains?

3 comments:

  1. I may be a cleaner at home, but I am guilty of car-crap. Used tissues wadded up on the console; sand on the floor and seats; crumbs all in the back; empty grocery bags, gym stuff, kid-carriers, and emergency wipes n stuff in the back; pollen, smog dust, and bird poop on the outside. I hate to fork over the $15 for a washing, and I also know that as soon as I clean it there be sand dumping.

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  2. LOL! Great post! (Also chuckling at your pride moment *grin*)

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  3. You son needs to meet my son...the puker. I too have become quite adept at having bags at the ready.

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