Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...

Thursday, July 22, 2010

My Name is God Epstein...

"If I have kids, I think I'm going to name one of them, God."

Livi announced this in the car ride home from camp.  I'm not sure what prompted this comment, but you've got to respect the girl for going there.

I've heard the name Moses,  I've met a couple Jesuses and I've even heard the name Apollo.   But I've certainly never met anyone whose parents had the guts to name their kid "God."

Sure I know lots of people who treat their kids like they're God, but call them, God?  That takes boldness to a whole new level.

I imagine her sending out birth announcements.  I assume she'll be married (not that I'm pushing it...just assuming the obvious path - and while I'm at it I'll just assume she's marrying Jewish - if for no other reason than it makes the name "God" funnier...) either way, her name won't be Maizes anymore.

The announcement will read, "Livi and Rob Epstein (that's her imaginary husband's name...) are pleased to announce the arrival of God!  weighing 7 lbs, 8 oz.  21 inches long.  Born, 12/25/35.

Or introducing her child to her friends:

"This is my son.  God."

"Excuse me?" They'll say. "Guy?"

"No.  God.  With a "d."

 Or, the first day of school and the teacher will be doing roll call:

"Mary Dorsey?"


"Lionel Drake?"


"God Epstein?"


I'm have to admit.  That's just totally awesome.

(Tags: Religion, names for kids, baby names, humor, parenting humor, God, Jewish wedding)


  1. Okay, that got me laughin'! Thanks,for sharing that - I needed it! Can you imagine when she gets mad at him? "God **** did you color on the wall with my lipstick?!"

  2. Funny!
    At one time I knew an Israeli named Gad (pronounced God). He was a hoot.

  3. so cute and funny! thanks for sharing.

  4. they say the funniest things! and the fact that you are documenting their random thoughts is AWESOME! xx


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