Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Chinese Jump Rope Torture

There's a new form of torture in town and it's called Chinese Jump rope.

My girls play it.  All morning.  All afternoon.

When I'm lying in bed in the morning, trying eek out that last half hour of sleep,  I hear THUMP, THUMP, thump, thump thump....coming from the other room.  I swear I can feel the floor shake through my bed.

When I'm writing: THUMP, THUMP, thump, thump thump....

When I'm making dinner:  THUMP, THUMP, thump, thump thump....

If they can't convince their brother to play they ask to "borrow my feet."

"You don't have to doooooo anything."  They say (wow...they know me).  "Just stand there."

And I do.  Obligingly pulling the rope up my as they call out "Ankles!" "Knees!" "Under-butts!"  It's practically a reflex now.   I can do anything while they use me.

When I'm writing, they hook the rope around my ankles.

If I'm watching TV, all I have to do is dangle my feet (I refuse to stand for "under-butts" while I"m watching's just my rules of relaxation).

If I'm standing outside of school talking to a friend, they hog-tie me.  God forbid someone should yell "fire!"

I need them to find a new hobby fast. 

Can't you crochet a Chinese Jumprope into a scarf or something?

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