Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...



Saturday, December 25, 2010

Jewish People make crappy Carolers...

I love Christmas.

I've always loved Christmas.  I love the decorations, the lights and I love to sing christmas songs.

Every year I try to come up with a new tradition to make Christmas special for our family.  My thinking is that even though we don't celebrate the religious aspect, the concept of Peace on Earth and Good Will Towards Man is something I can get behind.

So tonight after dinner we went out for a walk around the neighborhood to look at all the Christmas decorations.  I thought it would be a great way to get into the holiday spirit.

While we were walking, I started to sing..."Sleigh Bells riiiiing...are ya listenin..."  Scott joined in "...In the lane....snow is glistenin'..."

Izzy lagged behind hoping no one she knew would see her with us.

"A beautiful siiight....so happy tonight...."

We sang louder and held hands.

"....Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland..."

As we both took a deep breath ready to start the second verse, we looked at each other like...uh...what comes next?

I said "OH!  In the meadow we can build a snoooowmaaaaaannnnn..."

Scott chimed "And pretend that he's ...la...um...la,la, la, laaaaahhh"

"um...la, la, la OH!....a circus clooooowwwwwwwn."  I said.

"Right..."

"She'll say are you married, I'll say...wait...that's not right.  Forget it....let's try Jingle Bells.

We sang:

"Jingle Bells
Jingle Bells
Jingle all the way...
Oh what fun it is to ride
on a one horse open sleigh. Ooooh..."

And we sang that four times.  Loud.  We couldn't remember the rest of it.  But what we sang we sang loud and clear.  The kids all chimed in.  Except Izzy, who was pulling the hood of her vest further down the front of her face.

Then we got cocky.  "Let's do 12 days of Christmas!"

Yeah.  I was a real caroler.  THIS would be our new tradition. I was imagining all of the festiveness we were bringing to our neighbors.  Maybe someone would invite us in for hot cocoa.  Or at least give us some figgy pudding and tell us to scat.

We started up again as we strolled. "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to meeeeee....a partridge in a pear treeeeeee"  We all sang festively.

Livi sang her own version "And a partridge in a dead treeeeee."

Ben asked..."What's a partridge?"

"It's a bird.  Keep singing..." I said.

"On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to meeeee......uh...aaaaa....what did he give to me?"  I was stumped.  Scott shrugged.

I thought out loud going through the lyrics really fast (like when you forget where a letter is in the alphabet and you sing the alphabet song really fast.)  "FIIIIIVEgoldenrinnnnnngssss, (I can count down from there...)Fourcallingbirds, threefrenchhens....OH...TWO TURTLE DOVES....and a Parrrrtriiiidge in a pear treeeeeee!"

On the third day of christmas, my true love gave to meeeee...ummmmmmmm....he gave to meeeeee.....I couldn't be lieve it, I had to count back again!  I had JUST done it; "Fivegoldenrinnnnnngssss, Fourcallingbirds...THREE French Hens!(yes!)...Two Turtle Doves....and a partridge...

"in...A DEAD TREE!!!" yelled Livi.

We hit a roll and made it up to the 10th day of christmas before completely forgetting the lyrics again.
I was totally stumped and couldn't count back from the 12th day.  We passed some revelers coming out of a christmas eve party.

"Ooo...let's ask them.  they'll know!"

Scott said, "Forget it."  I think he was done.

"But it's going to drive me crazy!  I need to know what my true love got me on the 11th and 12th day!  I KNOW I know this!  I KNOW THIS!!!  AAARRRGH!

"Google it."  He walked up the front steps and went inside.

Grinch.

So we had a nice Christmas Eve overall and I think we have a new family tradition.  A Christmas Eve stroll and a little Christmas Caroling.  And next year, I'm gonna be ready.

But it would certainly be easier if perhaps for Hanukkah next year, my "True Love" could give me some sheet music.

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