If only I had used the term "Go the F*ck to Sleep" when I posted this last October, I'd be rich right now...
Ode to Bedtime
Bath time is now over
and it's time to go to bed
it's really very simple
all you do is lay your head...
Just put it on the pillow
snuggle down and snuggle tight
I'm turning on the music now...
and turning out the light.
What's that, you say? You need to pee?
But didn't you just go?
Oy! make it quick and wash your hands
And please don't be so slow.
No, you can't get some water
Yes, I can see you DIE of thirst.
But next time you go off to bed
you'll think of drinking first...
You've been running 'round all day long
I should know because I drive
you can't stay up till midnight
you need sleep so you can thrive.
We haven't sat, not once, all day
you must be so very tired.
next time no cookies for dessert
I see that you are wired.
Just close your eyes and go to sleep
I mean it, now, Good Night!
Don't bug your sister, stay in bed,
you're gonna start a fight.
It's really very easy,
just relax and lay your head
no you cannot do it on the floor
now get back into bed.
Here come the kisses
ready now? I'll kiss your cheek my pup.
Don't tell me that you're nauseous
and you feel like throwing up!
I've put good dreams inside your head,
I've scared away the bad!
NO monsters in your closet
or hiding underneath your bed!
If you go to sleep RIGHT NOW!
your lunch will have a tasty snack...
Just close your eyes and think good thoughts
While I tickle your back...
I need to climb in with you?
FINE! I'll show you how to sleep
just put your head down just like this