I love Toddlers & Tiaras. And by "love it," I mean I can't look away. Or change the channel.
There's something about seeing the embryonic stage of a future beauty queen that is fascinating. Watching three year olds do that weird Betty Boop kissy thing; get spray-tanned, and try to stop their "flappers" or "floppers" oh wait..."flippers" from falling out on stage. It's good stuff.
But what I love the most about Toddlers& Tiaras is that the kids haven't learned yet how to hide their disappointment at losing. These kids don't even try to hide what they're really feeling when some other b*tch gets the 4 ft tall trophy and sky high tiara.
So when I saw this picture of all the Miss America contestants cheering for Miss Wisconsin, Scott and I made up our own dialogue to go with what we all know they're thinking: