While trying to update my archives on SarahMaizes.com (which is ironic because I haven't even completed the site - OR figured out exactly what I want it to be yet!) when I came across this video I made for ParentsConnect.com for a series called "HerStory." I had totally forgotten about this video. It's weird looking back on it. I seem so focused. Like I know what I want. What happened??
Lately I've been feeling like I have somehow lost my focus. Like I don't know what to do next. And like I haven't actually accomplished anything of value.
I feel like I have spent my entire life constantly over starting from scratch. And it's frustrating: I was a literary agent-then I left to go into TV starting over in development; I was a Development Veep then I left to start a blog. I was a blogger then I wrote a book. Just as one book is done I write ANOTHER book that has NOTHING to do with the first book so it's like I'm a first time author...AGAIN! And, of course, let's not forget biggest setback of all which I have to live with daily while trying to deal with all the other setbacks...I have a family, then I get divorced.
Starting over sucks. Especially when it's all you ever do. You'd think I'd be good at it by now.
I'm confused about in what direction I should go next, so I certainly have no idea how to get wherever the h*ll it is I should be going! I'm totally lost right now.
I just need to figure out who I am, what I want and where I'm going. Yeah. That's it. So simple, right? Crap.
With any luck, I'll figure it out one of these days and I won't ever have to start over again.
Sorry. I'm ranting. Maybe I just need an early cocktail hour today.
Does anyone else out there feel like they are constantly reinventing themselves and in the process don't get anywhere? I could really use some support right now.