Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...



Friday, July 27, 2012

Starting Over, Again and Again...

While trying to update my archives on SarahMaizes.com (which is ironic because I haven't even completed the site - OR figured out exactly what I want it to be yet!) when I came across this video I made for ParentsConnect.com for a series called "HerStory."  I had totally forgotten about this video.  It's weird looking back on it.  I seem so focused.  Like I know what I want.  What happened??

Lately I've been feeling like I have somehow lost my focus.   Like I don't know what to do next.  And like I haven't actually accomplished anything of value.

I feel like I have spent my entire life constantly over starting from scratch.  And it's frustrating: I was a literary agent-then I left to go into TV starting over in development; I was a Development Veep then I left to start a blog.  I was a blogger then I wrote a book.  Just as one book is done I write ANOTHER book that has NOTHING to do with the first book so it's like I'm a first time author...AGAIN!  And, of course, let's not forget biggest setback of all which I have to live with daily while trying to deal with all the other setbacks...I have a family, then I get divorced.

Starting over sucks.  Especially when it's all you ever do.  You'd think I'd be good at it by now.

I'm confused about in what direction I should go next, so I certainly have no idea how to get wherever the h*ll it is I should be going!  I'm totally lost right now.

I just need to figure out who I am, what I want and where I'm going.  Yeah.  That's it.  So simple, right?  Crap.

With any luck, I'll figure it out one of these days and I won't ever have to start over again. 

Sorry.  I'm ranting.  Maybe I just need an early cocktail hour today.

Does anyone else out there feel like they are constantly reinventing themselves and in the process don't get anywhere?  I could really use some support right now.


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