Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...

Friday, July 27, 2012

Starting Over, Again and Again...

While trying to update my archives on (which is ironic because I haven't even completed the site - OR figured out exactly what I want it to be yet!) when I came across this video I made for for a series called "HerStory."  I had totally forgotten about this video.  It's weird looking back on it.  I seem so focused.  Like I know what I want.  What happened??

Lately I've been feeling like I have somehow lost my focus.   Like I don't know what to do next.  And like I haven't actually accomplished anything of value.

I feel like I have spent my entire life constantly over starting from scratch.  And it's frustrating: I was a literary agent-then I left to go into TV starting over in development; I was a Development Veep then I left to start a blog.  I was a blogger then I wrote a book.  Just as one book is done I write ANOTHER book that has NOTHING to do with the first book so it's like I'm a first time author...AGAIN!  And, of course, let's not forget biggest setback of all which I have to live with daily while trying to deal with all the other setbacks...I have a family, then I get divorced.

Starting over sucks.  Especially when it's all you ever do.  You'd think I'd be good at it by now.

I'm confused about in what direction I should go next, so I certainly have no idea how to get wherever the h*ll it is I should be going!  I'm totally lost right now.

I just need to figure out who I am, what I want and where I'm going.  Yeah.  That's it.  So simple, right?  Crap.

With any luck, I'll figure it out one of these days and I won't ever have to start over again. 

Sorry.  I'm ranting.  Maybe I just need an early cocktail hour today.

Does anyone else out there feel like they are constantly reinventing themselves and in the process don't get anywhere?  I could really use some support right now.

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