Finding the funny in parenthood before somebody loses an eye...



Monday, March 19, 2012

Hibernation Really Interferes with Productivity...

Today's Iranian New Year.  I know this because our school is OFF for Iranian New Year!  YAY IRANIAN NEW YEAR!

Now I have all three kids sitting home today even though I still have all of my usual work to do for Fashion Police.  Yeah, this is going to be an interesting morning.

I figure I need to keep everyone busy so I can work...you know...on my Fashion Police posts - not Mommy Lite stuff...that would be procrastinating.  And I want to do my work because I am REALLY liking it!  Last week got to call Nicky Minaj a Hot Troll Doll.  (This job really has "me" written all over it!)

I figure I'll ask all the kids to do their school work.  That'll keep 'em busy.

Livi and Ben have a big book report due - so that works well for me.  That could easily take up a couple of hours if I really milk it and force them to be neat and spell correctly.

Ben finished his report this morning while I slept in.  Okay.  It bought me an extra hour and a half.

Livi is less industrious.  She's the queen of procrastination.  She's sitting on the floor of the living room covered by a big green chenille blanket when I stumble upon her.

Me:  "Livi.  Do your work."

Livi: "I'm in hibernation."

Me:  "Get out of hibernation and do your work."

Livi: "But I like hibernation."

Me: "But you can't stay in hibernation.  Do your work."

Livi:  "Maybe next winter..."

Who am I kidding?  I'm not getting anything done today.  Nicky,...it's your lucky day.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

ONLY 7 MORE VOTING DAYS!!! - TOP 25 FUNNY MOMS!

OH NO!  I'm DOWN TO #21!!!!!

Just a reminder that you can vote EVERY DAY (well every 24 hours) on Circle of Moms for MommyLITE to be one of the TOP 25 FUNNY MOM BLOGS!!!!

You guys have been SOOOOO AMAZING and I am so incredibly grateful for all of your votes so far!! But in order to win I need to still in the top 25 by the 21st!  If I am, my blog could get pimped to 6 million people!!!

Thanks so much for helping me everyone!!!!  All you have to do is CLICK HERE TO VOTE!  (No registration necessary!!!!)  Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms - 2012 .


Saturday, March 3, 2012

Circle of Moms Voted MommyLITE a TOP 25 FUNNY BLOG!!!!

OMG! OMG! OMG!!!!

I was JUST nominated by Circle of Moms as one of the top 25 Funny Moms!!!!!! I don't know what they're smokin' there but I am SO honored and excited!

Now all I need to make it to the Top 10 is to get votes! LOTS of Votes! Whether you've enjoyed my writing, or just feel sorry for my kids I would be SO grateful if you would JUST CLICK on the button below and vote for MommyLITE! It's super easy!

THANK YOU DRUNK PEOPLE AT CIRCLE OF MOMS!!!! The NEXT round is on me!!!

Circle of Moms Top 25 Funny Moms - 2012 .

Friday, March 2, 2012

Is Your Uvula Showing?

Uvula! Uvula! UUUUUVVEEEEUUUUULAAAHHHHH!!!

Livi's running around the house shouting "Uvula!  Uvula!" and I have no idea why.

I had to look it up because I wasn't entirely sure what it was.  Or if she should get in trouble for saying it.

Turns out our uvula is that little dangling punching bag that hangs down in the back of your throat.  Okay, not punishment worthy at all.

She ran down the hall, "Izzy, is your uuuuvula showing?

Izzy gave her a board stare.  "Stop it, Livi."

She trotted back to her room  "Ben! Put away you're Uvula!'

His response?  "Hee-Hee!!...What's a uvula?"  I swear, he's her best audience.

She turned to her fish, Jeffrey.  "Your new name is, Uvuuuula."

I had to ask her, "Why do you keep saying that?"

"It's fun to say."

"Where did you hear that word?" (She's only in 2nd grade. Wouldn't you want to know?)

"My friends at school."

I imagined a bunch of girls giggling about the word, thinking they were being very inappropriate, having no idea what they were talking about.

"Do you know what a Uvula is?"  I asked, ready to prove my point.

"Yes!  It's something in your throat."  Touche.

Ben felt around the outside of his neck.  "Oh yeah!  I can feel it!"

"Ben...you can't feel your uvula.  Not on your neck at least."  I added.

"Yeah." Said the all-knowing Izzy.  "And if you touch it, you throw up."

So, this was my evening.  I realize it isn't dinner table conversation.  But I couldn't help but take a little pride in the intellectual level of our conversation.   Yes.  My kids know what a Uvula is.  And that you throw up if you touch it.

Are my expectations too low?


This story was originally published here on MommyLITEonline.com on 6/11/11.   Hope you don't mind the rerun! 

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